


That's Disgusting

by HaleHole (SweetFanfics)



Series: Mating Games Challenge (+Extras) [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Gross, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 08:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1682348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/HaleHole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Please tell me I misheard you." She all but pleads because this plan? Is nuts. </p><p>To her dismay, Scott shakes his head with a grimace. "Nope. You heard right."</p><p>She needs an actual minute to compose herself. Their lives are pretty insane but this? This is a new low.</p><p>(BONUS CHALLENGE 3: OUT OF CONTEXT D&D QUOTES.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Disgusting

**Author's Note:**

> [The quote](http://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/85133587459/we-had-to-send-a-courier-made-of-meat-it-was)

Lydia holds up her hand, causing both boys to stop mid sentence. Stiles' mouth even claps quietly as it closes. "Please tell me I misheard you." She all but pleads because this plan? Is nuts.   
  
To her dismay, Scott shakes his head with a grimace. "Nope. You heard right."  
  
She needs an actual minute to compose herself. Their lives are pretty insane but this? This is a new low. Lower than the time they'd all been chased out of the forest by a group of sparkling, giggling fairies who kept shooting sparks at their legs! Lydia likes to pretend that whole night never happened, thank you very much.   
  
Lydia pinches the bridge of her nose, counting to ten before exhaling and dropping her hand. "I really don't know where to start - the fact that we're going to try and negotiate with these creatures or that we need to make a  **courier** out of  _meat_."  
  
The face Stiles' pulls is disgusted and resigned when he holds up a piece of paper. "We're all gonna go vegan after this." He declares.   
\--  
(Many pounds of animal meat, one ritual and a successful negotiation later)  
  
"I was thinking about having a barbeque at my new place." Derek starts, only a tiny bit anxious when he presents the idea to Scott and his friends. He's finally moved into a tiny home at the outskirts of town. It's just big enough for him and has a nice patio out back where he can imagine hosting a nice little get together.  
  
So to say he's disappointed when three sets of faces  _blanch_  at his suggestion, would be an understatement.   
  
"No, no!" Scott hurriedly reassures him, "It's not you! It's the barbeque part. I mean. The meat part."  
  
Derek stares incredulously at the alpha werewolf. That's just about the last thing he expected to hear from the teenager who had put away four plates of spareribs in an hour after being dared by Isaac. His eyes sweep over Stiles and Lydia. Stiles looks green around the edges, a fist covering his mouth. Lydia is just pale, lips pursed together in an unhappy scowled.  
  
There's a story here clearly. "Do I want to know?" Derek asks carefully. Whatever it is, it's put all three of them off meat. And Derek likes his steaks thank you very much. There's no way he wants to jeopardize that.   
  
"Tl;dr?" Stiles says past his hand, "There was a supernatural problem and we had to send a meat man in as the messenger."  
  
Meat man? Derek frowns, puzzled. Is that supposed to be some kind of code?  
  
Lydia sees his confusion and helpfully explains. "We had to use magic to make a courier out of meat."  
  
"It was so disgusting." Scott groans quietly. "I still can't look at chicken thighs."  
  
"Or steaks." Stiles moans from his seat.  
  
"I haven't had turkey since then." Lydia finishes up.  
  
Derek stares at each of them in turn before carefully asking, "I could make a tofu meatloaf?"  
  
Stiles nods his head so hard and fast it's a blur. (Derek wonders how the kid is still alive) "Yes!" The teenager says, "Just so long as it isn't meat!" 


End file.
